The top 10 worst Valentine Gifts

In honor of this unilateral "holiday", here is a list of what NOT to get her, guys:

10.) Anything that looks like you won it at the fair. There has never been an article in Better Homes and Gardens on how to establish mood in a room decorated around the five-foot tall pink Tweety Bird motif.

9.) Anything from The Dollar Store. Also, destroy all receipts if the gift is from Napa (the auto store, not the valley), The Snap-On Tool Truck, or Ace Hardware. Remeber the answer to the question, "Where did you get this?" should always be, "The mall."

8.) Singing Big Mouth Billy Bass (even the love song edition).

7.) Monster Truck Rally Tickets. If you even thought this...If you even thought this...If...nevermind.

6.) A football. If she says she loves football, she means she likes watching over-sized, steroid-induced, millionaire hunks running around in tight pants, and slapping each other on the butt.

5.) Anything too small (or big for that matter). Skip clothes, altogether. "Skip clothes!"

4.) Cooking a romantic dinner made with Spam or Vienna Sausage. Trust me: when your huntin' buddies say, "Hey man, you're a pretty good cook!" they mean, "Hey man, it's food and I didn't have to fix it!"

3.) The Best of the Three Stooges video series. The words, "Best of" and "Three Stooges" are oxymorons in female language.

2.) Pots, pans, vacuum cleaners, or anything that involves manual labor. This is Valentine's Day, not MAID'S DAY!

1.) Nothing. Even if she says, "Oh don't get me anything," get her something. If you arrive home and realize you have forgotten to her her anything, tear your shirt and bang your head on the the car several times. Tell her you had the prettiest diamond bracelet for her, but you were mugged by a teen suburban scooter gang in the driveway.


HT:here.