say it with a primate

Correspondence is a multi-faceted and occasionally tricky business. Often communicative subtleties can be lost through reducing messages to black text on a white background. Do you ever find that simply tapping words into a bog-standard email causes the loss of their potency ? Sometimes it's like trying to convey nuance through smoke-signals.

But no longer, I declare! For now we have the ultimate messaging tool at our disposal : Monk-e-mail!

Surely all messages should be sent via the medium of a simian that speaks ? And a configurable monkey at that. There are four different voices to choose from, and countless combinations of ape attire, accessories, and areas in which they can be placed. You can even have the monkey talk to the sound of your own recorded voice.

As such, you can cater your chimp for the subtext that your message requires. Inviting friends to a party ? Give your monkey a tiara. Do you need to exude sophistication ? Give your monkey a pipe. Quitting your job ? Give your monkey a background of a tropical island, to show that you have better things in store for yourself.

Try it - Monk-e-mail will change your life; I swear. You may never use another method of communication. In fact, you may never do anything else ever again. So get mailing, monkey-lovers.